Dear Susan, I support myself as a model and have been able to save a little bit of money. That’s all great. But, I don’t look like the top supermodels. I spend a lot of time comparing myself to them. Then I feel awful about myself. How can I stop feeling so bad?
Answer: Honestly, comparing and despairing is a nightmare! One moment you’re proud of yourself for succeeding in the highly competitive field of modeling, the next you’re bummed that you don’t have lips like Adriana Lima or hair like Miranda Kerr.
We can only be the best us. I did a cover shoot for American Elle magazine with photographer Gilles Bensimon. I was booked in the morning and Elle Macpherson was booked in the afternoon. Well, I’ll tell you, when lunch time rolled around and Elle showed up I thought I was doomed. I thought, “I’ll never be chosen.” What’s worse, I began to feel uncomfortable about my body. If you don’t know, Elle McPherson was nicknamed the body. She has the most strikingly gorgeous body ever. My body, well, is perfectly fine till I start comparing and despairing.
Did I get that cover? Yes. Did Elle appear on hundreds more? Yes. Having my face displayed on the cover was the easy part for me, what was trickier was making peace with my perfectly imperfect body. I figured it out. It took some years. But, it doesn’t have to for you. I’m going to share 4 tips out of the despair game, so you can fast track your way to feeling better about yourself.
We all need to do constant maintenance on our self esteem. (Me certainly included!) Follow these self-esteem boosting steps:
- Admit it. Take a deep breath and have a chat with yourself that goes something like this, “Hey, I’m jealous. Everyone gets jealous once in a while. I’m willing to let it go. I wish her (the object of your envy) the very best.”
- Celebrate you. List your best attributes. Remember your recent accomplishments. And count the blessings in your life. The first two steps are all about what you CHOOSE to think. Believe me, your thoughts will positively affect your feelings.
- Doll up. Have fun expressing yourself. Some examples are: wear all 37 of your silver bracelets to your casting, sport that new red lipstick, or break out that pose you’ve been wanting to try. These are things you can DO to create more joy in YOUR life.
- Shut down. Unplug. Stop surfing the net. Put away the magazines. If you want to stop comparing and despairing- STOP it. This is your journey. Living it through the media takes you away from being your own special kind of fabulous.
Remember you are three things FAB U LOUS,